If you need a stickler for detail, who will turn out impeccably dressed, have faultless manners (most of the time) and a can-do attitude, Patrick Bateman, investment banker at Pierce and Pierce, is your man. However, it may be necessary to have a word with HR to keep an eye on his extracurricular activities once you realise he has omitted from his CV the fact that he is also the central character of a book called American Psycho. That's probably a clue that all might not be as it seems. While it is healthy to have interests outside the work environment, we usually mean things such as being in a choir, birdwatching, playing football or making things in a shed. Being a semi-sociopathic serial killer (or, to be less scientific, axe-wielding maniac) is usually not on the 'approved hobbies' list at most investment banks.
However, aside from an alarmingly detailed interest in the music of Genesis, there's nothing much to suggest that Bateman is anything other than a very bright mergers and acquisitions specialist.
His icy demeanour and meeting technique of detached ennui is perfect for the poker-faced negotiations he will do on your behalf. Be aware though, he can on occasion lapse into hallucination and occasional sobbing confessions of his heinous crimes, neither of which is ideal in the boardroom.
Fussy is a word invented for this one. He will take ages deciding what his business card should look like and, more than likely, will return from a meeting telling you he needs a new batch because Chad from a rival bank has a card that is 4g heavier, is a slightly better shade of ivory and is embossed rather than printed.
Work colleagues should fare pretty well with him as long as, and we can't emphasise this enough, they don't socialise with him. Invitations back to his apartment for a nightcap are something to be avoided, as are any situations where you might be alone with him. A final tip for the accounts department. Keep an eye out for his expenses – those dry cleaning bills are likely to
be enormous.
blog comments powered by
