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Continuing the noble tradition of silly/pretentious/potentially misleading euphemisms (parodied by terms such as 'carbon-based error' for human blunder), this latest example was nominated by business:life reader Rob Allen. The UK Payments Council had been pressing for some time for the abolition of cheques by 2018.

In a series of statements containing multiple uses of the word robust, it declared that "a paper-based option would be a necessary alternative" and that "until we have in place a paper-based solution that has the flexibility and ease of use of cheques" its mission would not be concluded.

When a bemused public pointed out that its proposed replacement — the paper-initiated payment instrument — was to all intents and purposes a cheque, the Council caved in and indefinitely shelved its plans. (But not before congratulating itself: "We are well placed to respond to stakeholder needs and will not flinch from taking a difficult decision 
if it is the right decision.")

Send buzzwords, jargon and new and exotic usages to tony.thorne@kcl.ac.uk

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