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I have worked for a small catering company for the past five years. I started out as the most junior member of staff and am now a senior manager, with a reasonable salary. My boss is a decent man, who gave me unpaid leave for three months when I wanted to travel around Europe to learn more about local cuisines. The trouble is that I have been offered a fabulous job with a little more money by a larger and better established company. Should I take it or do my loyalties lie with my current boss?

If you’re very happy at work and have reached where you want to be in your career and the decision is just about money, then I wouldn’t take it. You spend a lot of time at work and if you’ve got somebody you really enjoy working with, then maybe it’s right to stay. As a caveat to that, your boss may also be looking to move on and it is dangerous to link your career directly to one individual. Whilst loyalty is a fantastic thing, I suspect that anybody who gets on in their career and does well will, at times, have to choose between what is right for them and what is the loyal thing to do. If you are only halfway through your career then you are probably going to have to make a decision to move sooner rather than later. Even if you stay within the organisation, you’re not going to stay with this boss for the rest of your life and there’s no guarantee that he will remain with you either.

I run my own business importing niche electrical goods. I have worked from home for the past year, during which time my wife has been quite involved with all the goings on. The business is growing and not only do I now need to find an office space, I also think it would be wise to get a partner on board. When I mentioned this to my wife she automatically assumed that I meant her to join me full time and was thrilled. This is definitely not what I intended because, however much I love my wife, I do find her rather inefficient in a professional environment. I enjoy having a project of my own to focus on and would prefer to share my business with someone unrelated. How do I tell her that I don’t want her involved?

You should have been honest in the first place. Working with a close relative requires more honesty and a greater ability to face up to difficult issues. Find kind words, or take a selfish viewpoint, ie “I’d like to have this business of my own, but we might do something together in the future.” Say why you want an external partner: there are very valid reasons why it is good to get independent views from people. If someone knows you too well, they find this very difficult. So deal with it by finding unemotional reasons. It is very valid to want external input into a business without the complications that might arise from personal relationships.

Deborah Meaden is author of Common Sense Rules, £18.99

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