Although my query isn't strictly business-related, I hope you will be able to adapt your professional know-how and give me some advice. I'm the mother of three teenage boys and I'm finding it increasingly difficult to motivate them to become more self-sufficient and pull their weight around the house. Cash incentives seem a bit crass and who knows what the money will be spent on? What do you think the best way to motivate is and how best do I get my family to pull together as a team?
I'm a bit lost when it comes to teenagers, as I don't have any children. But you need to keep in mind that there is something that will motivate everybody. It's usually money, but it isn't always.
My advice would be to find the thing that motivates them and then encourage them in a way that's not too crass. This is important because a teenager pushed too strongly in one direction is likely to do exactly the opposite. Instead of saying things like, "If you do this, I'll give you that," you should reward them retrospectively when they do something really well or off their own bat.
I've employed a lot of teenagers and if you push them too hard against their will, it doesn't work. You can shout or cajole but if they don't want to do it, then they just get worse. So long as they are interested in the job, they perform very well. I think that there are strong parallels between a family and a work team. Businesses have the same kinds of relationships and if you look at a family unit you can see roles developing. They aren't necessarily voiced or clearly defined, but people do tend to take on positions within a family. That said, though, family relations are usually more complex so you can't be quite so obvious with your motivations. It takes more subtlety and finess.
Deborah Meaden is author of Common Sense Rules (Random House, £7.99). Read more advice from Deborah Meaden.
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