My wife’s 68-year-old father recently asked me to invest £10,000 in a ‘sure-fire’ business opportunity. He’s presenting it to me as if he’s doing me a favour by involving me, but I suspect that he’s short of cash funds.
He isn’t the easiest man at the best of times and my wife, with whom he is very close, doesn’t want me to offend him by refusing, although to give him the money would pretty much wipe out our savings. Given the fact that she is the sole beneficiary of his will and will one day inherit a sizeable property from him, should I bite the bullet and help him out?
This is quite an easy one. There’s always been a clear line in my life between business and family. Lots of people try to raise investment from family and it usually ends in tears. If your father-in-law has asked you to invest and it’s a good opportunity on sound grounds, then make the investment.
If not, then you need to have the conversation saying that the relationship is too precious to put it at risk by getting money involved. It doesn’t have to be about trust, just say, “I think that this relationship is too important to us to allow money into the equation.”
Another important thing to take on board when investing cash or making any investment is that you’ve got to decide the type of investment you want to make. If I only had £10,000 and it was my life savings, then I’d find a very, very safe investment with a good track record.
If it looks safe and sound then maybe you will want to invest. If it goes wrong, then the relationship’s shot and it’s just not worth it. There’s no such thing as a ‘sure-fire’ investment. Everyone thought that the property market was ‘safe as houses’ and look what’s happened to that.
I feel that my boss, who treats most things as a big joke, just takes me for granted. I know that I am very good at my job (my clients tell me so) but I get no recognition at all for this in the office, although I am financially well remunerated. All I’d like is the occasional “Well done”. How can I explain this to him without him laughing at me?
The first thing I would say is that recognition is a great thing and I am always keen to know that recognition goes to the right places. Generally, a good result is down to a team of people and I like to make sure that everyone will understand that they have done well. So I caveat everything I say with that because I think recognition is important.
However, I have never looked for a “well done” in my life. I look to do a good job and actually say to people: “I was pleased with that, are you happy with the result?” Expecting others to pat you on the back puts you in a subservient position — present your achievements positively instead.
Deborah Meaden is author of Common Sense Rules, £18.99
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